Sept 14t- Different?

September 14^th

Rough, scarred hands
Are gliding gently over
Porcelain skin
Looking out of place
A body of sun scorched
And long days of work
Lies next to
The pristine scar less skin
Of his love
Looking out of place
Looking beyond the surface
No one can question
The way the hold one another
Simply in each other’s gaze
You could pick apart differences
For the rest of eternity
And tell them a hundred million
Reasons they look odd together
They will simply return that they
They are in Love
And that is all the reason they need.

Sept 13th- Midnight Bloom

September 13^th

Midnight’s Bloom

I heard the story told once
No one really talks about it anymore
But I’ll try and remember
But I did only hear it once

There is a flower in the woods
That only blooms once a month
Midnight during the first full moon
In the trees the flowers bloom
To reflect the beauty of the stars above
Silver streaks for only an hour
And gone again for one month more

The flowers are said to be guarded by wolves
Even the trees themselves
But that would be crazy wouldn’t it?
Flowers guarded by trees.
It’s said that on nights of the bloom
Technology is not welcome in the forest
I don’t know how, I’m just telling you as I was told.

If you can make it to the forest
Pick the flowers on the night they bloom
For every flower picked
They will extend your life by one year

I’m not interested in prolonging life
But I would love to see flowers
As innumerable and beautiful as the stars.

Sept 12- Through the Lens

September 12^th

What if we always lived life behind the lens

Living out our lives never taking part

Only observing and scurrying memories away

That we were never wholly a part of

Until someone else grabs the camera and for a brief

Moment in time we become part of something else

A piece of art, a memory that we lived in for one

Instant, but what if those instants were few

Most of the time spent behind the glass and metal framework to forever enshrine everyone else

And in years to come there will be no pictures of the photographer

And there will be no question as to why.

Sept 11th- Wings

September 11^th

Let me paint you a pair of fairy wings
Wings that will catch the sunlight and moonlight
A multi faceted prism the paints the world
A million colors by day and night
Let me paint you a pair of wings
So that you can fly away
Finally free of your broken life
Let me paint you a pair of fairy wings
So you are a caterpillar no more
Let me paint them for you
So that you might see that you are
A creature worthy of wings
Even if you don’t believe it just yet
Let me
Please let me
Paint you some wings
Prettier than a butterfly
A gift of wings just for you
Only if you let me
Only if you want them

Sept 3rd- 10th

September 3^rd

A single blossom
Falls to the ground
Trapped on a breeze
Trapped
Doomed now to wither
To die
Separated from the tree
Given life through
Extraordinary circumstance
Life taken away by chance

September 4^th

Shades of Gray

What if the world were like the old movies, no I don’t mean perfect with a scripted ending; what if we saw the whole world in shades of gray, we still had emotion and shapes and ways to distinguish, but instead of colors it was one set of shades for white down to black, the saturation of skin tones would slide clothes wouldn’t separate nearly as much as they do and it would even skew our view of beauty, or would it? Does color change anything; does seeing the world in full Technicolor view change anything?

September 5^th

I woke up this morning with cold feet, or rather because of cold feet. Moving the fleece blanket to re-cover my feet I am reminded of the warmth next to me softly breathing, I don’t need to be reminded because I had forgotten, but simply because I’m still not used to waking up to the blue-green of your eyes, or the warmth of your skin. I wrap my arms around you kiss your forehead and lazily drift back into slumber.

September 6^th

It’s eight in the morning and at a college seeing this many people at this hour is a feat on its own. Most are still trying to wake, twirling in chairs, slugging their coffee as if it were mana from heaven, listening quietly to the professor as he spins his lesson hoping to have one student actually listen, because he too would rather be back in his bed. Is this all life really is: an eight am class with the world trying to wake up?

September 7^th

We are trying to walk through time with a stride that is more like gliding than walking. Trying to see the world in an infinite scope without disturbing the ripples of the time stream, observe but not to interfere, the things that were are and the things that will be only might, come back to the present and waste note your life away gliding through time.

September 8^th

Return of the Oak

To escape the biting blade
The ancient roots picked
Picked themselves up and
Carried the oaks away
Only to return when
Axes and blades and chains
Stop felling the trees
That cannot escape
I will wait for their return
A boy with an oaken staff
Wood in a world of metal

September 9^th

What is Evil?

No I’m not going to even answer my own question because I want to know your own thoughts, what do you believe to be unquestionably, unwaveringly evil? Does any one instance that spans the age fall into this category from the perspective of the entire world, at least a majority? Could you find a moment of pure good either? Is there a black and a white, is there an answer beyond contestation? I didn’t think so either.

September 10^th

I will not bow me head to you
You have not earned my respect
I will not take a knee
So that you can gloat
I will not be shamed by the past
I will not break like straw
You may scream
You may fight
You may even kill
But I will not
Give you the satisfaction
I will not bow

August 27th- Sept 2nd

August 27^th

Do You Want Me?

My heart has been beaten, bruised, sliced, pureed, lit on fire and burnt to ash. I always somehow manage to scrape enough off of the sidewalk to give to someone else, but this time I’m self conscious of the tiny piece that I have to offer you and I wish it were more, it’s only a little bit, a tiny fragment but do you still want it; do you still want me?

August 28^th

Abyss

The pit you’re staring at has no bottom as far and deep as you the ocean but an emptiness instead of water; this void could have anything within the depths but the only way to find out is to jump headlong into the black and find out for yourself.

August 29^th

Dream

In your dreams you will live forever and a day, you can be anything as long as you want to be. Life will end on short notice and you will have no more time to dream. So live life as you would in your dreams, and dream forever of the possibilities your life could be.

August 30^th

You were the wave in the ocean I was not ready for; the tsunami  that swallowed me and tried to fill my lungs with salt while you continued to crash overhead and not let me breathe, forcing ice and madness into my veins as I struggled against you. You will not win.

September 1^st

Staring through the glass at a scene of orange and gold and even though it’s my favorite time of the year, it doesn’t feel like fall. Summer barely touched her feet upon the earth before the smells of Fall graced the air, Summer has gone to rest for another year and sun-kissed leaves are here ‘til Winter sings her song.

September 2^nd

Grin and Bear It

I plastered a smile on my face just to bear the pain, I’m not going to let everyone see that I am weak that this smile is to get me through the day, have to grin and bear it, if the smile cracks and you see me like this the pain will be unbearable.

August 26th- Garden of Stone

Garden of Stone

I walk the rows and columns or the perfectly put together cemetery wondering who thought to put a piece of marble on the ground with a name etched onto it as a memorial for the deceased. Their body has become part of the earth and their soul is gone but this hunk of rock that meant nothing to them in life is what stands as a memorial for our remains. It’s not what I want though, to remember me I want an Oak to be planted over my remains and maybe a little plaque that says I’m there, a tree in a garden of stone; that is what I would like to become.

August 25th On Rainy Days

Not about anything in particular promise…

The rain is a beautiful for its ability to hide tears, water droplets hiding within water droplets indistinguishable from one another unless an observer looks really closely, not at your face but at the rest of your body as your shoulders and lungs rack themselves with sobs and give you away even through a watery façade, your beautiful mask of water and salt tasting the salt running off your face the only way you personally know it’s your tears and not the rain, no disguise is perfect, but then again, I said the rain was beautiful not perfection, for beauty is flawed but still beauty

August 24th Like New Again

Like New Again

I want to feel warm earth between my toes and not care that they will turn black, I want you to be hear so I can hold you again, I want to be at piece and not stress the small things and let money worries slip into the sea with lazy fingers trailing behind a boat and not a care, I want to sit still and feel the earth’s heartbeat become one with my own, let her fill me with a song that is beautiful and chaotic but it is hers, I want to try harder to stop and take some time for me; to notice the small things; the things we take for granted, I want to breathe, and I want to shed this skin and be a brand new me.

August 15-23rd A series of Muse Poems

August 15^th

Caliope

I heard a story told
Her voice drew me in
Wove the world around
Until I was living the tale
Heroes and villains
Long journeys home
When the fabric of reality
Unfolded
Brought me back to the present
I asked the women her name
She smiled and walked away
A muse of old I just called her Caliope

August 16^th

Clio

Fingers thumb through dusty tomes
Stories lurk within the pages
Looking to proclaim
To shout their contents
Let their songs be heard
But some won’t hear the voices of history
Just seeing words
Without beauty or passion
Just black marks on a white page
A sad story on its own

August 17^th

Erato

Write me a love song
Recite me some verse
Let me know that I am loved
Show me
Tell me
Breathe life into the routine
Let there be a fire like never before
Let Erato light the flame

August 18^th

Euterpe

Sing to me
Sing me anything
Or let the earth sing
Let me hear a song
To take delight in
Draw me into the music
Fall asleep to a sweet melody
Awaken to a dawn chorus
Sing
Let the lyrics flow
Harmony to mesh
With the world around
Just sing
Let me hear one song

August 19^th

Melpomene

Walk swift and light
Let no tragedy befall you
Lest tonight we sing
Of your demise
More likely forgotten
Fading from memory
Worth nothing more than
Your fleeting time on earth

August 20^th

Polyhymnia

Many thoughts
Many names
Pouring from my lips
My brain
Wishing that I could capture it all
Solidify it into singular moments
That I could revisit it later
Some songs
Some verse
Will escape into the night
Never to be savored as a memory
Gone because I was unable to capture thought

August 21^st

Terpsichore

Lose yourself in the music
Let the song sing to your hips
Let your feet move in the melody
Walking on the notes
Stepping as if you could see
Perfectly laid out before you
As easy as walking
Simple as breathing
Just dance into the night
Dance into the day

August 22^nd

Thalia

I want to laugh
Tell me a joke
A prank
Be a joker for a little while
Laugh with me
Until tears
Stream down our faces
Let there be giggles and guffaws
Chuckles
Just let there be laughter
Let it be contagious
Let me laugh until it hurts
Let me die with a smile on my face

August 23^rd

Urania

A midnight cape pinpricked with light
Let the world turn around you
And keep your eyes to the heavens

August 14th- Home

We’re going home, but I’m just going to leave again, the place that’s mine is no longer here, it’s about thirty miles in another direction but I guess this will always be home. With walls seeped with memory, family fights that no one gets, I might be leaving again but this, this is still my home.

August 13th- Heartbeat

The rhythm is too fast that’s the best way they could explain it to me, knives on a table ready to insert tubes to shock and awe my heart and then leave scars behind. Scars will be the new blueprint of my heart, and hopefully that blueprint doesn’t need a backup generator in way of a pacemaker I’m not going anywhere but my heart’s getting a makeover, as long as I’m still me when all is said and done.

August 12th- Unknown

Summer is fading fast, the ocean is getting further out of reach The time for vacation is coming to a close, school is starting so soon, less than a week to packing up and heading to a home away from home. I’m honestly scared and excited for what a new year will bring, right now fear is winning out because of the unknown.

August 11th- Not quite the Griswalds

My family is crazy in the best way possible, loading seven of us into a minivan with all of our stuff for a weeklong vacation makes for an interesting ride down to a house that has no rules sitting on the beach all day long and relax. Relaxing is something that I never manage to do because I can never sit still but down here I am mellow and letting these last days of summer float lazily by and even managing to sit still.

August 10th- Grow Up?

Do I want to grow up? I know it has to happen and I know I should grow up and some point but why would I want to. Lose a sense of fun and wonder to bills and a work until I’m placed in a pine box or a funeral pyre. I want to stay as childlike as I can manage for as long as humanly possible. It doesn’t mean I’m never going to grow up, but I am going to hold onto childhood for just a little longer.

July 30th- August 9th

July 30^th

Limitations

I have limitations

I am human

I am good not god

One day at a time

I will try my best

But I am not a god

I cannot cheat death

I cannot remake

Humanity in my image

I cannot read your mind

I have limits

I have learned that it’s okay

July 31^st

The sea has called my name

Salt has filled my lungs as I

Breathe in and plunge to the bottom

Waves crashing overhead

Crashing to the shore

Crashing into a tangled mess of

Thought

Limbs

Sand burn as I

Crash to shore

Reminded of a sense of touch

Aug 1^st

Sunrise Sunset

Is the sun setting or rising

It’s a painting

Everyone says it’s a sunset

I prefer to think it’s a sunrise

A brand new day

A moment when everyone

Gets another chance

I say

It’s a sunset

August 2^nd

Take Your Hand in Mine

Place your hand in mine

Fingers laced

Skin to skin

Lips will touch

And a moment will be spent

In eternity

August 3^rd

Smiles and laughter

Silly fun conversation

Family vacation

August 4^th

Alecto

Let your anger seethe

Fire burn against the guilty

I am here for your revenge

Unleash me on your foes

A guilty soul

Your unrelenting anger

The Furies are here for you

August 5^th

The Rose

The rose has wilted

The petals are falling

Fall is coming

With its smells and

Sounds

Leaves crackling

Summer almost forgotten

Vacation coming to an end

The death of a rose

August 6^th

A wolf in a cage

Fangs bared

Poked with a stick

Kicked while he sleeps

But the lock is rusting

You’re too busy to notice

Until one night

While you sleep

Your heart is pulled

From your chest

By the animal you kept caged

August 7^th

The simple things in life like friends and music an evening in memory and happiness. A night to be completed by sitting and waiting in a care still singing the songs we heard two and a half hours into traffic just being us, overtired and goofy, but we were us. So here’s to the night and if I could go back and relive those moments even if I had to do the following week all over again I would do it just for that one night of songs and memories

August 8^th

Another year older but not any wiser, or am I wiser in thinking that I have not grown wise, a question or a conundrum. I am no wiser then the next fool, and in knowing that I am content.

August 9^th

I miss you, I really do. Hearing your voice on the phone is not enough when you are away, and a text at night to say good night is even worse. Another month before I can hold you in my arms again and kiss you goodnight, another month, but it is a month too long because I miss you now.

July 29th- Pan

July 29^th

Pan

I saw some reeds by the river today

I gathered seven

Strung them together

And tried to play the pan pipes

When I thought of Pan

Chasing nymphs along the river

Seducing them with his song

I thought of Echo forever having the last word

I thought of Syrinx and the reeds I now played

I packed my reeds and headed for home

But not before I saw a goat run away

July 28th- Can I Lick You

July 28^th

Thank you M.G. for the title

Also to explain this one: a friend recently found out he was born without a sense of smell so it evolved into this…

Can I Lick You?

I have no sense of smell

But I want to remember you

Some other way then your face

So would it be okay if I lick you

That way I will know you by taste

I know that you’re wearing expensive perfume

I unfortunately can’t smell a thing

Is it all right if I have a taste

Just a little lick

Like a lollipop from the doctors

Is it alright if I lick you

I just want something to make up

For the fact that I can’t smell you

Can I just have one little lick?

July 26th- 27th

July 26^th

Can we slow this down

Take some time

Enjoy the season now

We are just getting to summer

And school is around the bend

A few more days

A few more weeks would be better

Not enough time in the world

To sit back and relax

July 27^th

A walk through a bustling city

On a Friday afternoon

Nowhere to be other than

Noting everything around

A bucket band is playing around the corner

A vendor is hawking his wares

The farmer’s market is just opening

Chilling with my best friend

A very good day

July 7th-25th

July 7^th

Smile

I cannot manufacture a smile

It does not stay up with plaster

Everyone can tell it’s forced

I will not make the corners

Of my lips turn up and show

A lopsided grin

If I don’t want it too

I will carry on be me

But you can’t make me be happy

Short of painting these lips

Wildly out of the lines

Until a smile becomes scary

I will not smile because you said to

I will do it because I’m happy

July 8^th

Soul Search

The materials for a human body

Can mostly be found in a lab

We have all the raw materials

To assemble human beings

And yet

We cannot create a soul

You could argue that there is no soul

But if it is so unimportant

Why,

Why can’t we recreate a life-spark

Why does a body that it perfectly made

Fail

Fail so often

Why will it just not raise from peaceful slumber

Why does marble skin

Have to replace rosy cheeks

And the sound of laughter

Don’t tell me there is no soul

July 9^th

Nightlight

As a child you’re scared of the dark

A nightlight can make you feel better

But even when you’re grown

And you sit in the dark all alone

There’s a bump in the night that still

Makes your heart race and wonder

What else is out there

There dark might not be able to hurt you

It’s what lurks in the dark that can

July 10^th

Keyhole

A key opens a lock

But there are thousands of doors

I found the keyhole I was looking for once

And beyond the door was a void of space

I saw tiny pinpricks of light staring back at me

In an otherwise black void

All because I was curious enough to open a door

Using a key

That opens a lock

July 11^th

If you watch your watch

And your watch has a face

Does your watch watch you

As you watch it’s hands move

Does it watch without eyes

Does a watch watch?

July 12^th

Footprints on the Beach

Up to see the dawn

The only thing to see

Are the footprints behind me

As I stare out across the endless sea

Waiting for the sun to lighten the sky

The sky is lightening but

Today is another day the sun will not be

Seen

July 13^th

Life’s pieces fit together like a mosaic

Sometimes the little shards

Don’t let you see the big picture

Until you take a breath and stand back

To try and get a glimpse of the rolling sea

Of tiny images that make up a grand plan

Sometimes you’ll see parts that make sense

Other times all you’ll see are little shards

July 14^th

Destiny

The sister of Fate

She plots and plans

Acting with cool head

Calm words

Thinks she rules over all

A princess in a dream world

Perfectly coordinated

An image of beauty and grace

To escape the cycle

All you have to do is escape her

July 15^th

Fate

Destiny’s other half

For the must be a fate

To balance destiny

Acting rashly

With quick strikes

Thinking of short game

Preferring to win battles

Even if it costs him the war

Tempers flare

And in the flame dances fate

Prince of chaos

July 16^th

Death

She sits atop her throne

Queen of the damned and innocent alike

She doesn’t care if you are the richest in the world

Or if you eat shit from a trash can

She takes all comers

For all must meet their sovereign

She is the undisputed queen

For now and forevermore

July 17^th

Timeris

Since whenever anything began

Time has existed

It may not have had a name

But time has passed with each

Rise of the sun

With every moment that we breathe

Every singularity that leads into another event

Time is the oldest because you need time to pass

In order for there to even be death

July 18^th

Is light or dark stronger?

Because whenever there is light

Darkness is chased away

But in the absence of light

Darkness blankets all

Leaving me to ponder

Is one stronger than the other?

Will one ever win?

July 19^th

Fat

I was told how fat I’ve gotten by someone who hadn’t seen me in a while, and looking up at and down at your frame that could feed a third world country for a year, I think “look who’s talking” but the comment hurts anyway. Why is it that a comment about my size stings? Maybe it’s the fact that I have lost weight, maybe it’s because it makes me wonder who else is thinking it; I know it shouldn’t matter but it does and I think the part that hurts the most is I was liking who I saw in the mirror, but I guess it’s just gotten really good at lying.

July 20^th

My Last day

If you were told this was your last day what would you do? A question that has become cliché but at the same time it’s asked because everyone wonders what someone WOULD do. The funny thing is even if you knew what can you do in a twenty four hour period? Travelling to a foreign country just to see its beauty is out of the question because not only is the flight booked you would spend precious hours on a plane. The truth is my last day would be made special simply spending as much time with those that I love as possible, the ones who have cared about me through everything family and really good friends I couldn’t think of a more perfect last day.

July 21^st

Relax

I would like to go to the beach today

Just to smell the ocean

With bare feet buried in the sand

Maybe build a castle that will

Battle the elements

Before quickly becoming a ruin

The ocean will lap at our feet as we

Walk along

Clutching one another’s hand

Underneath a starry sky

No work

No worries

Just you

Me,

And the beach

July 22^nd

Forbidden

A weather worn sign says it

Forbidden

Big red blocky letters

But what is forbidden

Entrance into what

And why is it the second that

We are not allowed to do it

Does every fiber of your being

Want to rebel and do the opposite

I want to cross into the forbidden

But is there any coming back?

July 23^rd

Liar Liar

Your mother always said not to lie

But she lied to you all the time

She lied to you about Santa

She lied to you about money

She even lied about your gold fish dying

She can lie because she’s your mom

It’s only lying if you get caught

Does she ever feel like a hypocrite

For telling you not to lie

And then slipping into a smile

And lying to your face

I didn’t think so either

July 24^th

Elegy of a Fairytale

Fairytales are dying

With every knight who brings a sword

To slay a dragon

Rescue the princess

I want to remember the good stories

But they are dribbling from my memory

With the introduction of rewrites

And thievery

We are placing old fairytales

In shallow graves

To rot and be forgotten

Knights are now teen boys

Dragons are now city streets

And the princess can do her own ass kicking

Chivalry is dead

Fairytales are gone

July 25^th

Open a book

A digital age

We look for immediate gratification

It needs to be faster

It needs to have more megabytes

It needs to more graphically blow someone to tiny bits

Try opening a book

It needs no batteries

It has no other functions other than to be read and

Enjoyed

July 6th

Can I do better?

Can I be better than who I was yesterday,

Can I live in this moment learning from the last?

I want to be better in every way that I can be

I want to be me but a better me than

Who I was an hour ago,

A lifetime to make improvements

Why not start now.

July 5th

We remember those that were

Try to remember those that are

And don’t know those that will be

Is it enough to try

Or do we simply fail

Even with our best attempt

It would be easier to not try at all

But to fail trying is

A more dignified failure

Then to fail doing nothing at all

July 4th

Hospital

White walls

Too clean

Gloved hands

Probing questions

What’s wrong

No answers

No pulse

July 3rd

Lovers spring eternal

Misery Eternally

Truth Foreverrmore

July 2nd

July 2^nd

I want to reach up

Scrape the sky clean

Let me see the stars

No smoke

No clouds

Nothing but a void

And pinpricks of light

Separated by nothing but space

And wonder how they float on

Suspended forever

Until they too become a void

July 1st

July 1^st

I can only be what I am,

There was a time where

I would have apologized

If that wasn’t good enough

Until I realized that

I shouldn’t apologize

For what I’m not

If the world can’t accept me

As me

As a person who is happy

To be themself

Then it really isn’t my problem

I cannot change the world

And I won’t betray me

This is all I am

This is who I choose to be

June 20th- 30th

June 20^th

About no one in particular I promise…

I want to cut you out of my life

Remove every trace

If every drop of blood I shed

Were to get me further away from you

I would drain myself dry

I want nothing to do with you

You are more than dead to me

You simply never were

You aren’t even good enough to be

An unpleasant memory

You are nothing to me now

I pick myself up and realize

Not only are you nothing now

You were nothing to me then

June 21^st

Hurt

You walked back in to my life

You said those words and expected

Expected everything to be alright again

Wanted things to be like they used to

You hurt me

You cut me deep

So that when you left

I was constantly reminded

I want to stop loving you

I don’t want to feel this hurt

I don’t want to take you back

And for whatever reason my heart

Still spurs to life when I hear your voice

I was just getting my life back together

I was in a really good place

I thought maybe I had a chance

Then you walked back in

And I am still inexplicably in

Love

With

You

June 22^nd

Techno Myth

Your discarded technology lies in a heap

Forming a mountain befitting of the gods

It is outdated, broken, and lifeless

There is no redeemer

No technologic phoenix to rise

From the cellular ash that will

Continue to rise until

It smothers us all

June 23^rd

To Your Health

I toast to your health

Really I mean it

May you have a long and happy life

May it be disease free

And when you die may it be quiet and dignified.

For your life is only average

And you do nothing with your days

But I will toast your health

That and nothing more

June 24^th

Sees the Day

The sun is rising

I can see it with two eyes

A flaming ball that is turning the sky

A multitude of colors

Crimson to pale pink

While I can see the day begin

I hope that I get a chance to

Seize the day.

June 25^th

The Man in the Sea

Just like the man in the moon

There is a man in the sea

Whose great flowing beard

Is traversed by ships

Caught in his quiet breathing

Tossed about when he takes a shower

And once in a while still

Floating while he sleeps,

Rare as that may be

While his blue green skin can be seen

He has a wife down below

In the blacker depths

A dark beauty that the man in the sea

Hides away just for himself

Out of sight from travelers

She is too beautiful to ever see the light

Never to feel the warmth of the sun

A prisoner to the man in the sea

She doesn’t even know that she is caged

June 26^th

I saw two birds fighting

A raven and a dove

No words were heard

No food lay twixt their beaks

Just two birds fighting

Light and dark

They plummeted from the sky

To break each other on the ground

They fought one another

Died in a crooked embrace

June 27^th

Medusa

There was a woman

Who could turn a man to stone

A simple look was all it took

And almost everyone looked to destroy her

I find the story sad

What if all she wanted was to fall in love

She would never get the chance

Whenever she got close

All she would get was a rock

I imagine it’s a lonely life with

Only statues for company…

June 28^th

Go on and take another shot

Show everyone what a man you are

How well you hold your liquor

Tonight you are a god among boys

It’s tomorrow when your body

Is trying to salvage the wreck you made

When you have the twenty calls from

Your real friends wondering if you’re okay

You blew them off again to be a party animal

Or maybe just an animal

You don’t even know how you made it back

You might even be an insult to animals

But it won’t stop you from

Drowning yourself in bottles

Looking for something you’ll never find

June 29^th

With each turn of the season

The trees change their clothes

Chameleons of still life

The perfect disguise

Mistaken for a house,

A hiding place,

Never a tree,

Always forgetting they are just trees

Then again nothing is just

The truth of that sentence

Couldn’t ring any clearer

Nothing is just,

Nothing is fair,

And that is just how life works

You want to prove me wrong,

Well,

Just try

June 30^th

The rain is trickling down my cheeks

It has gotten to the point where I wonder

If it is all just rain or has it mixed with tears

The salt on my lips is the only reply

I don’t even know why I’m sad

I don’t know why these tears even come

No real reason

And if there is I’m not sure

I really want to know

June 15th – 19th

Sorry I was behind again It’s been a busy week but I’ve kept writing and now present you with a few short prose poems

June 15^th

Waiting…

I am sitting, no lying, in my car; bare feet on the dashboard waiting for the moment that it is not the ghost of you. I am waiting for the flesh and blood you to hold your warm hand in mine and let me know that I am still real, we are still real; even in this moment that feels like make believe.

June 16^th

Your words are filling my head and lungs with smoke that is hardening like concrete until I am wondering what thoughts, if any are my own? Is someone else breathing for me? I think I’ll take a sledge hammer to my chest a choke on gravel for a while if it means I’m rid of you, you filled my head with rocks, made me feel like one too, and now it’s only you that will be left alone.

June 17^th

Let me sing to you; I know it’s rough, it’s out of key, but it’s my song to you, it is me being who I am, I’m not going to change, and I hope you wouldn’t want me to so let me sing to you, it might not be the prettiest thing you have ever heard, it probably isn’t even that good. I just want to do something that I don’t normally do, so please, can I sing to you?

June 18^th

The rain is making ripples on the table shifting the glass from a perfectly mirrored surface into a sea of waves, and if you try to interrupt by placing a warm hand onto the wet glass all it does is incite more ripples, interfering does not bring peace to the surface for even a moment, all you have to do is wait for the rain to stop for a simple table to become a mirror again.

June 19^th

I passed a car in a parking lot, it was all by itself on the edge of the parking lot with fogged up windows in an otherwise still setting, and I would be able to bet that there were two people enjoying each other’s company inside that fogged up car. You might ask why two, and I should probably say at least two, but even then you might ask why is there at least two people there. There is only one real answer, because to sit alone in a car all by yourself at the end of a darkened parking lot with the lone member fogging up their own windows is just a sad thought. As I drive away leaving them alone again, in their own fogged up world.

June 14th- Oak

I was relatively recently told that I’m like a tree and it’s true so one more tree poem for you all

Oak

I began as a seed

An acorn

Against all odds I

Put down strong roots

And pushed the dirt from my face

To pull out from the brown black

And be greeted by the sun

A glowing ball of warmth as I

Reached gnarled hands toward the sky

Spread roots further below

Taking time to grow

Until I am no longer a seed

I am a skeleton of a seed

I have filled out with branches

I have invited creatures

To share me as a home

I have watched children

Place a tire swing on strong arms

And I will continue to grow until

I pierce the sky open

I will stand here a family member

With roots woven in other trees

Able to stand on my own

But stronger together

And when you die off

I will still be here

Continuing to grow and learn

A heartbeat so slow you cannot hear

Breathing only heard in the wind

I am real

I am alive

Just because

You don’t hear a scream

When your blades carve initials

Into my skin

Does not mean I am dead

I am alive

Just because my broken bones

Do not lay in fiberglass casts to heal

Does not mean that I am gone

I am alive

And you

You will know

That I will not be broken

Not by your axes

Not by your saws

I will tear apart the earth and sky

If that’s what it takes for you to see

But all you really need

Is to take a life in your arms

Go on and take one of my seeds

See if you can make it grow

And care for it year after year

If you can still tell me I cannot feel

Then let it end

Cut me down and let the earth split

Beneath my weight

Another will come

Though it may take some time

June 13th- Human Paper

Humans and paper have one thing in common, once their creation is complete they only continue to grow older. The difference is that a piece of paper has to ability to remain blank and unchanged other than the yellow tinge that it will inevitably get before cracking and eventually decaying to an end. Humanity on the other hand does not get the luxury of remaining unchanged because as we age changes happen, and we either take a pen and fill in our own blanks or we let someone else fill our page with their thoughts and ideas, becoming a puppet for someone else. I would rather fill myself in and take that one illusion of choice and freedom even if I have to hand over the pen to laws, and other such societal restraints but it’s for the greater good. I would rather get to fill my own page than leave it empty anyway.

June 12th- Fresh

I want a fresh start

Where no one knows my name

Even if it doesn’t work that way

It doesn’t change the want

The need for a new beginning

Maybe I’ll make this work

But I wonder what it would be like

To start over

Brand new, unmarked, untouched

But knowing what I know now

Again I know that’s not how it works

I just like to wander,

Wondering where my thoughts will take me

June 11th- Grow Up…?

To grow up

I know everyone does

I am not saying I wish to stay a child

Maybe not forever

But a little longer

Stave off responsibility

A little longer

Maybe it’s because I watched

I watched a five year old

Spout obscenity and know what it meant
I have seen an eleven-year-old
Wear things, or maybe not wear things
That makes passers-by wonder

Where were her parents?

A twelve year old brags

How he got a girl pregnant

What happened to being a kid
Why are these becoming moments of pride

Having sex does not make you a man

Nor does it make you a woman

Having a baby does not make you responsible

It does however make you grow up

Long gone is the tooth fairy

Five dollars a week as an allowance

Worrying about acne

Instead childish worries

Have become grown up problems

I would rather grow up

But be a child as long as possible

Put it off a little longer

In memoriam of the fallen

June 10th- Why?

Why? A simple one word question that has a million and one answers, and almost none of them are as simple as the function of the question. Why can also be met with more questions if the one asked feels in the mood to ask back. But why? Why is it that a friend underestimates herself? Says that the book had an ending, but I’m watching a sequel unfold. She says they are just friends, and I believe her; but I don’t want them to be anymore. I hope that there are no more starry eyes and this is just friends over coffee and conversation. Time will tell, I hope, or maybe pray, that the sequel does not end the same as the first.

June 9th- Meaning

From the first cry as we slide out of the womb humanity is doomed to grow older and fade into an inevitable death. With every breath another second is gone and we are trying to leave something to be remembered by, or is it that no matter what we do there is no meaning? And if there is no meaning then why were we given the chance to exist at all, why have a species to serve as no purpose other than to live a parasitic existence to wipe the world clean of resources? Why not end the cycle and annihilate each other until there’s only one and then do the planet a favor and commit suicide and thus ends a race, that was never really a race in the first place. Honestly though that’s not really me because I’ve never been one to listen to the rules preferring to see them as challenges. Live this day as my last and let the bus come through my front door to kill me. If an end is to come let it be a new beginning, who says death has to be an end? A story unfolds with characters not yet introduced and a life not yet lived, it doesn’t matter what I think to anyone but me. I am only accountable to me, no one else has to listen, no one else has to care; you can swear at me, spit on me, hate me, do whatever you wish, but that just means that I have had an effect on you anyway. We all must meet a demise, there is no eternal life in the flesh, but no one has declared death to be an end. So yes I will grow old, I will wrinkle and turn to dust, but I will god damn try to live as best I can, above mediocrity, above living a life like it has no meaning, who gives a shit if it’s meaningless because even if it is that’s no way to spend a life at all. My first to last will have meaning, that’s my story, the ending still hasn’t been written.

June 8th- Cityscapes

Looking out at the sky in front of me
With cityscapes kissing velvet lips
Pinned against the moon
With manmade eyes below
And pinpricked anomalies above
Every inhale of the city
A sigh of a lover out of reach
As alive as every inhabitant
Fingers reaching for the sky
But always just out of reach